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[30 Dec 2016|11:01pm] |
♥ SPAM ♥ LOVE ♥ HATE ♥ SINGSTAR ♥ MUSIC ♥ NOAH ♥ SAMMY ♥ ETC ♥
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[30 Jan 2015|07:50pm] |
Love Is All That I Need...
And I Found It There In Your ♥
OOC Contact; Lines; All Comments Screened
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[17 Oct 2011|10:20am] |
It's officially been a year today. In some ways it feels like it was so long ago, and yet at the same time like it was just yesterday. I will never forget my sister and everything she has done for me in my life. She practically raised me, kept me safe, happy and most importantly, alive and for that I am forever greatful. Part of me wishes we had done what she had originally wanted, only stayed in Colorado a few days to rest up, make some quick cash before hitting the road again. If we had done that, she might still be alive today however I still can't help but wonder if I would be happy. As much as I loved being with Sam and traveling around, I was never as free spirited as she was. Where she could spend her entire life roaming the countryside in our car, all I ever wanted was a place to call home and a family of my own for myself and for Sam. She never found that for herself before her death but luckily I did.
I am incredibly greatful for Noah, who knows where I would be right now had he not taken me in, looked out for me and gave me a place to call home. I remember when he came to the motel room Sam and I were staying in, we watched movies and made popcorn and that was when I fell in love with him, when I knew he was my future and now I have the life I always wanted. The parts after where he invited me to stay with him after Sam's death and him helping me cope with it all and get past the insomnia and nightmares were just icing on the cake. And now, I have an amazing husband whose there for me no matter what and a beatuiful son who looks and acts more and like his father everyday. thank god for small favours
Anyway, I have rambled long enough I think and I hear Sammy up from his nap so I should probably go. Thinking about making Sam's favorite for dinner tonight in her honor, give Noah a break from cooking duties and luckily for me it's not overly complicated.
Rest in peace Sam, I will never forget you and all you have done for me.
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[02 Dec 2010|12:25pm] |
So I found out my parents are in Denver and I wasn't sure if I wanted to see them it's been eight years since Sam and I left but when I was talking to Noah about it he made some really good points and now with Sam being gone...they are my only family. I somehow got it in my head that maybe they were looking for me and found out I was in Colorado.
I was wrong.
I found out what hotel they were staying at and drove out there, they were at this coffee shop near the hotel I sat there like an idiot trying to get up the nerve to go see them and when I finally did I got out I was ready I walked up to the table and...my mother pretended I was some strange mental case, she had no idea who I was my father attempted to make smalltalk but it was the half assed kind of smalltalk that you would have with a stranger in an elevator.
They are in Denver on a family vacation with their son Michael. He's almost eight, my mother found out she was pregnant with him only a few days after Sam and I left. Yeah, I apparently have a brother not that they would have anyway of telling me that, not that he even knew I existed...they probably pretend I was one of their foster kids...
Now I am sitting in some crappy motel room bawling my eyes out feeling like the biggest loser on the planter I don't want to go home on the bus looking like a hysterical little girl and I don't want to bother Noah....so I rented this room to cry it out, sleep and hopefully tonight/tomorrow morning I'll be okay to go home.
I should have just stayed away. I wish I had just stayed away....I'm an idiot.
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